Days 100- 102 Freedom

Lee's Journal Entry: Dec. 22, 1995

just as i was leaving the ward i ran into jean. i told her it was fate.

we went for cokes and then to the liquor store, then here, the salvation army hotel.

jean stayed for awhile. i drank rum and water as i do now. the place is all right if you want to feel like one of the dregs of society. it’s better than where i was. next month i’ll see about getting into the granville hotel where i’ll be able to gas myself if i want. i’m now listening to my walkman, drinking rum and beer, wondering if i should go to my parents place.

before i left the Hospital i was told that once i got here i would be given my medications. it never happened. jean phoned the

hospital and they said to pick them up at “shoppers drug mart”

i phoned the hospital and they could tell me nothing. so jean on her way home is going to check out “shoppers drug mart” for me. i have to phone her at 6-630PM. i don’t know if it’s a big deal or not. surely i can deal without my anti-depressants for 3 days?

if jean says they are at shoppers I wonder if I should go there before going to my parents, or just wait till tues.

i have no clock in here, so i will never know what time it is when i’m in here.

i’m starting to get drunk

i’ll cut myself off

***

I phoned jean and she said shoppers had no record of a prescription for me. so I wonder what the fuck is going on??? i tried phoning my parents but no answer.

it figures. just when i want to go visit no one is there.

should i leave and just show up.

***

i listen to peter gabriel and i just don’t know. i’ve just talked to dad and asked if i could come visit. “no” dear old bitch mom couldn’t handle it i guess. i almost don’t want to go.

suddenly i feel my entire. perhaps it was a dream.

today i’ve got to go to surrey today. i feel just like laying in bed.

i’ve been smoking way too much.

The evening after his discharge Lee called me at home and asked if he

could come out for a visit and to get some clothes. It simply was not possible or

convenient and I told him to get a good nights sleep and we’d call him in the

morning and make arrangements for him to come out and we'd drive him back into

Dunsmuir House with whatever he needed and check out his new apartment.

Lee simply disappeared.

We called Dunsmuir the next morning and were advised that there were no

individual room phones and we would have to leave a message for him at the

desk. We continued to call and leave messages for the next two days but Lee

never picked them up. They simply stacked up in his box. We explained to

Dunsmuir staff what was happening and they tried to assist and checked his

room, but as of midnight on Christmas Eve Lee was still missing. Our next door

neighbour was visited by her nephew., himself an AIDS patient at St. Paul’s, who

hearing of our plight trying to locate Lee, volunteered to use his “street” smarts to

try and find him downtown. We didn’t give Todd E. much of a chance for success

but it was better than nothing and we agreed. There was nothing else we could do

so we went to bed and tried to sleep. I remember closing my eyes with the

thought:

"And a Merry Fucking Christmas to you, St. Paul's!"